He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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