oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
