I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
