I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
