I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
