um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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