it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
