If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
