Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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