They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
