so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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