I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
