Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
