hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
