He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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