Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
