just tell him i said nine months
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
