paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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