Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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