Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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