He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
