Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
