chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
