I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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