Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
