Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
