i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
