I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
