So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is it penis luge time yet?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
