You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
