he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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