did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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