Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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