OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
