he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
