someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
