Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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