Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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