3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
