It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
