Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
