Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
