The maid of honor just puked.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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