Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
