last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
