marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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