My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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