i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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