I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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