My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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