One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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