halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
