Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
