i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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