The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
